Speaking of my body, it is a fat, disgusting mess. It needs to change now. It's the first of the month, which is a great time to start a new plan. I worked everything out last night and I'm gonna stick to it. My goal for today is to not eat over 100 cals. In fact I was actually gonna try a weird sort of diet for 2 or 3 days, which is to only eat 2 no suger added fudgesicles(45cals each) a day and nothing else but water and very low cal drinks. Hopefully it will work cause I really need to stop this viscious binge cycle I've been on lately. It's just been horrible. I really need to get back on track. I haven't had that empty feeling in my stomach in days, I'm only empty in every other way.

I cut last night on my ankle, which is where I usually do. It was nothing bad, but with cutting it's all bad I suppose. I don't think I do it that often, but with hope that will change soon. And I know it sounds fucked up that I would want to cut more, but the thing is, I pick at my skin constantly as a form of SI and I really want that to stop a lot more than the cutting. And sadly I know that the only way I can stop it is to replace it. So I figure, since I already cut, everytime I get the urge to start squeezing and poking at my skin, I'll cut to fill the craving for pain. Maybe then I'll finally be able to clear up my skin and not fuck it up the next day. Cause I would rather have one scratched and cut up ankle than an entire face and body of little dark spots.