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I Feel Like Shit I feel horrible right now. For the past two days all I've been doing is b/p'ing and it has been hell. Why can't I just not eat so damn much. I've done it before, so why can't I do it now. Why the fuck do have to binge. I hate it. It makes me feel so disgusting. I don't need all that food, so why am I so compelled to shove it in my face. Then I feel so guilty and disgusting that I have to make myself throw up to get it out, which just makes me feel even more gross. I need some major motivation and I need it now damnit. I can't let myself go on like this anymore. I just don't know how much more I can take. On a another note, I may be getting my own computer finally. It's an older one from my mom's office, but I'll take what I can get and besides, it's free. And with luck I'll be able to get internet hooked up cause without that there really isn't a point since that's what I'm doing 90% of the time I'm on the computer. It should be nice though and help me not to binge at night cause I won't be as close to the kitchen. Oh well...I guess I'll see this weekend if it works out. I really hope so cause I really would like my own computer. I'm 19...so it's about damn time I got one. |