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Who Are You? I've been thinking about that question a lot lately. Who am I? What exactly makes up all that is me. If there was a recipe to create me, what would the ingredients be? Personally I have no idea. I look around my room, it's got all sorts of miss matched crap, and it's really messy. It's weird, with everything else I need order and perfection, but for some reason I always seem to let my room get messy. I would love to redecorate it, but I don't have the money and I know I should at least reorganize it and go through all my stuff, but I just can't find the energy. My mom says I live like a depressed person. Wonder why? Your room is supposed to show your personality. So are my clothes, which all look really grungy as my grandparents would say. I refuse to wear clothes that might actually look good or correctly reflect my personality until I am at a size that I am at least somewhat comfortable with. Right now I am so fat that it wouldn't matter what I wore I would still look atrocious. And sadly the sandwich and chips I had that I was too lazy and tired to purge is not helping. It's making me more and more fat. I guess maybe my room and clothes do reflect me. they reflect the lazy, fat, ugly slob that I am. Maybe they also reflect my hatred for my body and my life. They let people know that this mess is all I am deserving of until my body is perfect. Only then will I let my room and my clothes and other things that reflect who I am be perfect.
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