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Fuck Easter Fuck Easter and fuck whoever thought it would be fun to give everyone giant chocolate bunnies and other candy to celebrate it. I hate holidays, I really do. Right now I'm at that place where my house is stuffed with candy and other junk food so I think to myself, "alright I'll just b/p all this crap to get rid of it and then it won't be around for me to eat later." So I b/p all the candy and junk I can get my hands on and what happens, my mom goes and gets more crap. This always fucking happens. Is it so hard to understand? Why can't she just quit buying so much junk food? It's not good for anyone and she knows...she knows I have trouble with food, but she never seems to help me. I'll do great for days then suddenly she'll ask if I want any fast food. I can't seem to resist, the weak bitch that I am. I tell myself that it will be just one time, but that becomes two times and then three and so on and I get sucked into this b/p cycle that I can't pull myself out of. It starts to become more about the purging than the bingeing. I don't want to do this, I don't want to get sucked in again. Each time I do it's harder to stop, to go back to just restricting, to not binge, but that doesnt seem to stop me does it. I'm such a fucking pig. |